Some Clarity...

So I got up pretty early this morning and drove out to the DFW area to speak with Pastor Antonio and pick up my visa & passport. Apparentally, somewhere in the course, or maybe due to other cultures or possibly even just the good ole Holy Spirit, we got our wires crossed on what exactly was going down haha. Ya see, I thought that I was going there for more the technical side, like running an orphanage (and one overseas) and just being able to help them out and sort of get a feel for all the millions of things set up with their different ministries and with the orphanages. Pastor Antonio pretty much thought I was bringing my OWN ministry to share with the kids there. Yes I almost started hyperventilating right there in his beautifully decorated living room. When I got back home, I stopped by the church to bring back receipts & speak with Pastor Kevin. I told him what Pastor Antonio and I had talked about and he wasn't sure how it got mixed up either. He said sometimes it's just going to be "fly by the seat of your pants" type of journey b/c that's how their culture is. And I explained (to both pastors individually) that I was up for the challenge and that I had been asking God to grow me and stretch me and use me beyond what I thought I was capable of. And that is CERTAINLY this haha. The only thing is - i am VERY overwhelmed!!!! Just like me to accept something & then panic! Haha But I know that the Holy Spirit will guide me and show me where to go from here. And I am constantly praying for direction. CONSTANTLY. My life is always a big jumble in the air b/c there are several things that I want and/or could do with my life. But these options are only subject to what happens in the next few years. I DO want to finish college... that's a definite. Could I be an overseas kids missionary? Could I potentially later on in life actually be running the orphanage in Uganda? (yes they asked if i was interested) Do I want to run my own orphanage in the states? Do I want to run an orphanage at all or just work with kids in some way? There are SO many options to play with but I know the Lord will lead me. And so I ask for your prayers - for my future and for now, especially that He would equip me for the task at hand. I love kids... I love people... If I can't speak the language best and maybe seem boring to the kids, but show them my love for them and my love for Christ... is that enough? I hope so. I just want their hearts and ears and eyes to be open to receive the Gospel, whether through my words or my actions or through the other people in the ministries. I'm not running on much sleep here so if my thoughts are kind of castastrophic and jumbled, I apologize. :) I hope some of this made sense...